All Paths Led Up To This
by Ariwholockvengers
Summary: After disappearing again, Castiel comes back weeks later to visit Dean. He learns what has happened to Meg and decides that he has to save her. In Dean's efforts to keep Castiel from leaving, we learn why his room has been arranged so strangely. No smut just fluff. One shot. Destiel. Takes place after episode 8.17 so there are spoilers for up until that episode.
1. Castiel

Castiel stood at the foot of Dean's bed. The eldest Winchester was sprawled out on his stomach, left foot dangling over the edge of his bed, a light snore rumbling from his throat. Castiel knew that Dean would be mad at him, he didn't like it when he watched him while he was sleeping. Actually, Dean would probably be mad at him for more than just that. Weeks ago, he had vanished again, after finally freeing himself from Naomi's grip. He knew that Dean didn't like it when he took off without saying goodbye. He would be especially upset with him for ignoring all of his prayers.

Dean rolled over in his sleep, mumbling some incoherent nonsense. Yes, Castiel would rather take all the time he could staring at his Dean's peaceful sleeping face, before he had to wake him up and watch his brows furrow with anger as he demanded to know where he had been, why he had gone, why he hadn't come back. Castiel's gaze traveled around the room. He noticed that only one half of the room had been decorated. Odd. To his right was a single chair. He walked towards it silently. It sat by itself on the far end of the room, facing towards Dean's bed. As if it was meant for...

"I put that there for you," a quiet voice rumbled behind him.

Castiel's shoulders stiffened. He turned around, his face wearing the expression of a child who just got caught doing something wrong. Dean hadn't moved from his sleeping position, he just watched Castiel intently as he stood frozen in place.

"For me?"

"Yeah since," he shifted just slightly, "I haven't gotten you to break that habit of you watching me while I sleep. So, I thought if I gave you a place, maybe you would..." he faded off awkwardly, but the unspoken words hung in the air. _Maybe you would come back._

"Oh..." Castiel mumbled, "Well... thank you." He sat down in the chair. If Dean had put that there for him, it would probably be impolite to not sit in it. Dean sat up slowly, almost too slowly. Castiel cocked his head to the side, wondering why he was moving so hesitantly. Dean's eyes never left him as he leaned over and pulled the string of his bedside lamp. The lamp clicked on, shedding light on Dean's face, which was painted with worry.

"Where have you been Cas?"

"I'd uh, rather not say," Castiel braced himself for Dean's frustration.

"Alright," was all Dean said, surprising Castiel with how deliberately calm he sounded, as if he was talking to a skittish wounded animal. That's when he finally understood.

"Dean, you're not going to scare me away. You don't have to worry about me flying off."

Dean chuckled, "Can't blame me for expecting it."

"You're right," Castiel lowered his head, "I'm sorry."

"It's all fine." Dean swung his legs over the side of the bed. They stared at each other silently for a few minutes.

"So, how do you like the new place?" Dean asked.

"I haven't really looked around," Castiel said, "But your room is... very suitable for you."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Dean smiled. Of course Castiel did mean it as a compliment. Nothing that was Dean could ever be anything but good in his mind.

"How is Sam?"

"He's fine, nothing worse than coughing up blood."

"And Meg? Where is she?" Castiel hadn't been able to sense her, this worried him greatly.

Dean looked down, "Uh Cas... I'm sorry but, Meg is dead."

Castiel froze, "What?"

"Crowley killed her."

Castiel stood up abruptly, "No."

Dean stood as well, "I'm sorry man," he put a hand on Castiel's shoulder, "I saw it myself."

Castiel closed his eyes. No, this couldn't happen. He had so many things that he had wanted to talk to her about, the tablet, the Winchesters, each other.

"I'll, I'll have to-"

"Have to what? What can you do?" Dean's grip tightened on his shoulder.

_I'm kinda good, which sucks. You're kinda bad…which is actually all manner of hot. _

"I'll bring her back," Castiel looked at Dean with a fierce determination.

"Come on Cas, you know you can't do that."

"Yes I can, I'll go back to purgatory and I'll-"

Dean grabbed Castiel's other shoulder and swung him around so that they were face to face, "Cas we barely even made it out the first time! Are you crazy?"

_You really know how to make a girl's nethers quiver, don't you?_

"You don't understand. I have to," Castiel clenched his fists.

"You're right, I don't understand. Why do you wanna risk so much for some demon b-"

"Don't," Castiel cut him off loudly.

_We survive this, I'm gonna order some pizza and we're gonna move some furniture around. You understand? _

"Is it that hard for you to believe that I care deeply for someone other than you?"

"Cas, you gotta be kidding me."

"I'm not Dean."

"Okay, I get it. You guys spent some time together and now you're a bit sweet on her but it's not worth it!"

_Why you so sweet on me, Clarence?_

"No Dean, it's more than that."

"Are you telling me you're in love with her?" Dean asked incredulously. Castiel just stared silently into Dean's eyes. Dean slowly let go of him and turned around, trailing a hand down his face. He sat down on the edge of his bed and looked up at Castiel.

"Cas, let's talk about this. What makes you think you're in love with her?" He patted a spot next to him on the bed. Castiel sat down hesitantly.

"It's not necessarily that," he said reluctantly, he still wasn't very aware of what love exactly was. "She's just the only person I've ever met and shared a mutual sort of interest with..."

"What? You've had a bunch of girls crushin' on you that you never told me about?" Dean smiled, nudging him with his elbow, obviously trying to lighten up the conversation.

"No, it's not that," he looked down at his hands, "It's kind of the opposite."

"You like somebody then?"

Castiel nodded. He didn't know why Dean sounded so surprised. Surely he knew. Surely he had figured it out a long time ago and had just said nothing because he was too kind.

"Well, did you tell them? Maybe they just don't seem interested because they don't know that you're into them."

He highly doubted that. "I'm not their type," he muttered. Not at all. Not the right species, he'd even made the mistake of picking the wrong gender for his vassal.

"Well who is it?"

Castiel didn't answer.

"Come on Cas, you can tell me."

"Why did you only decorate half of your room?" Castiel tried to change the subject.

Dean looked flustered by the question, his face flashed to a suddenly open and vulnerable expression, "I uh- Damnit Cas don't change the subject."

Castiel stood, turning away from him. "I think that if you haven't figured it out already then it may be best to keep it that way."

"How am I supposed to figure it out if you've never even given me any sort of clue that you even liked someone?"

"I've been told that my body language could be taken as more than platonic." He readied himself for Dean's epiphany. Surely that would be enough for him to understand what Castiel was saying.

"Well I've never seen you get up close and personal with anyone but-" Dean stopped abruptly.

Castiel clenched his fists, staring at the wall. He should fly away. He should leave before it's said, because once it's been said, it's out in the open and it can never been taken back or ignored and everything will be ruined. Dean would push him away because that's what Dean did. On the subject of sexuality, he had never shown anything other than a raging heterosexuality for his entire life. He had said that Castiel was family to him. There was no room for romantic notions between family. Yes. He should go. Then he would return again later and pretend it never happened.

"Cas?" Castiel readied himself to flee, but a hand on his shoulder kept him there, like an anchor. All possibility of leaving vanished with that simple touch. He took a deep breath and turned around slowly, meeting Dean's eyes as they searched his face.

"Cas, I-" his face and voice were dripping with regret.

"Do not apologize," Castiel said firmly, "I would never expect you to return-"

"Cas stop," Dean interrupted. He ran his free hand through his hair, keeping his grip on Castiel's shoulder, as if he was afraid to let go. "I uh... I didn't decorate half of the room... because I was leaving it for you."

"Now you're changing the subject," Castiel muttered. Dean was avoiding the topic because he didn't want to hurt him, which was comforting, yet the pain of the rejection was still there.

"No," Dean protested, seeing the look on Castiel's face, "I'm not. I'm just not good at this. Chick flick moments, you know?"

Now Castiel was hurt and confused, "No, I don't know why you keep expecting me to get all of these references."

"Damnit Cas! I'm saying I left space for you in my room! Surely you get what that means."

"Seeing as I don't sleep I don't really know why that would-"

"Christ Cas."

Suddenly, Castiel felt himself being yanked forward. Before he could open his mouth to protest, it was being held shut by Dean's lips crushing against his own. The musky scent filled Castiel's nose as he relaxed into Dean's grip. His surprise left him weak and unable to think straight. He felt his mouth being pried open and thoughtlessly complied as Dean took the angel's lower lip into his mouth. Mindlessly, his hands crept up to the man's chest and wound his fingers into his shirt. A small growl rumbled through Dean's chest. Castiel was seeing stars. This wasn't like the time he had kissed Meg. That had been emotionless. Physically enjoyable, yes, but he hadn't _felt_ anything like he did now. Everything was warm and soft but at the same time hard and _Dean._ All he felt was Dean, all he smelled and tasted and saw was Dean. He smelled like gun powder, leather and just the slightest hint of whiskey.

"Dean," he murmured against his mouth.

"Yeah Cas?" Dean broke away from Castiel's mouth, dragging his lips down to his neck.

"I uh-" Castiel was having trouble keeping his thoughts together, "I thought you didn't-"

"Is talking about this really necessary?" Dean said roughly between the kisses he was planting under Castiel's jawline.

"Yes," Castiel barely managed to choke out. He wasn't used to this, the sensory overload was too much. But he needed to know. He had to make sure that this was more than simple lust, or an attempt to keep him from leaving again.

Dean sighed, raising his head to look the angel in the eye "Fine. I didn't think I did either. But apparently I was wrong. Or maybe... maybe it's just you," he broke eye contact, looking to the floor. Castiel felt like something was blooming in his chest, fluttering like the wings of a hummingbird. Dean loved him.

"Dean." Castiel cupped his hand under the man's chin and tilted his face back up. Dean licked his lips nervously. "You're my exception too." This was the human he fell for. He had given up, and would always give up, everything for this man. The man whose soul shined brighter than anything Castiel had ever seen and was absolutely glowing right now as he leaned slightly into Castiel's touch.

Dean flushed, his mouth bending into the slightest smile before it was covered by Castiel's lips. As Castiel pulled him close, he knew that ever since he had been assigned to raise Dean out of hell, this was meant to be. All of those confused hours about his feelings, then the pain of the incorrect realization that the feelings would never be returned, weren't for nothing after all. He would give those hours up for nothing, because those were what made this moment all that much sweeter. All paths had led to this moment. He was always supposed to end up here, with Dean, his Dean.

_Dean._


	2. Dean

**AN: This was originally just going to have one part, but I kinda wanted to show what was going on on Dean's side, so I added this. Hope you like it!**

Dean woke to the sound of a rush of wings. He fought the urge to open his eyes. There had been many a night when he had woken with the feeling that Castiel was there, but soon he had realized that the gentle _woosh_ of his wings were nothing but a figment of his dreams. As long as he kept his eyes closed, he could convince himself that this feeling was real, that he wasn't alone. As soon as he opened his eyes though, he would find his room empty. His gaze would flicker to the chair facing his bed, and it would be empty. Empty like the feeling in his chest. He lay there, absorbing the artificial feeling of Castiel's presence.

But then he heard something stir at the foot of his bed. Strange. He was wide awake now. Nothing should still be leaking out from his dream world. He slowly opened his eyes his breath catching at the familiar silouhette with it's back to him. Castiel stood at the foot of his bed, observing the chair that had been empty for months now. It all seemed so unreal, Dean suddenly wondered if he was still dreaming. He wanted to call out Castiel's name, but it felt as if the slightest disturbance would shatter this vision. If he was going to say something, it had to be something meaningful, something that would make him stay. He swallowed, trying to to smooth out his dry throat.

"I put that there for you." Shit. Not exactly what he had wanted to say. But, he had never been good at this sort of thing. He watched Castiel stiffen and turn around like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He didn't move, if this was a dream he didn't want to shatter the illusion, but if it was real Castiel could fly off at any second. Every time he had seen him lately, he had taken off without warning. He had to keep him there, keep him interested.

"For me?" Castiel asked, as if he was confused, but it was obvious that he understood. Maybe he wanted Dean to say it out loud.

"Yeah since," he allowed himself to shift just a bit, "I haven't gotten you to break that habit of you watching me while I sleep. So, I thought if I gave you a place, maybe you would..." he went no further, but knew that Castiel was perfectly aware of the unspoken words that hung in the air. _Maybe you would come back._

"Oh..." Castiel mumbled, "Well... thank you." Dean watched him sit down in the chair. He felt some of the tension in his shoulders relax. Something about Castiel sitting made Dean less afraid that he would be vanishing any time soon. By now he had decided that he wasn't dreaming, and if Castiel wasn't planning on leaving, it should safe for him to move a bit more. He leaned over and clicked on the lamp next to his bed. Light flooded over Castiel's face, who still wore the face of a child expecting a harsh scolding. Of course, Dean was a bit aggravated, but he had been more worried than angry at Castiel for flying off without warning.

"Where have you been Cas?" Worried sick, to be exact.

"I'd uh, rather not say," Castiel nearly flinched, obviously expecting Dean to yell at him. But Dean didn't do that, the last thing he wanted was to chase him away, and if that meant not asking any questions, he would keep quiet. Castiel observed him for a few seconds.

"Dean, you're not going to scare me away. You don't have to worry about me flying off." Dean chuckled, of course the angel saw right through him. It was nearly impossible to get a lie through that intense gaze.

"Can't blame me for expecting it."

Castiel's face twisted with guilt, "You're right," he lowered his head, "I'm sorry."

Now that Castiel had assured him that he wouldn't be leaving, Dean was comfortable swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "It's all fine," he smiled reassuringly. Castiel simply stared. Dean didn't know what else to do besides simply stare back for a while.

_Come on, Dean. Just tell him. _

_How am I supposed to bring that up?_

_It's not that hard! _

_What am I gunna say? Oh hey Cas, missed you while you were gone and by the way I'm in love with your stupid feathery ass._

_Come on Dean! Be a man!_

He cleared his throat, "So, how do you like the new place?" Nope. He just couldn't get it out.

"I haven't really looked around," Castiel said, "But your room is... very suitable for you." Dean tried to wrap his head around what that could possibly mean. Was it good or bad? There were a lot of weapons, and he had left one side of his room completely bare for anyone who might perhaps move in...

"I'll take that as a compliment," he smiled, afraid to let the silence stretch out for too long.

Castiel's mouth quirked a bit in what Dean took was a smile in return.

"How is Sam?"

Dean didn't want to talk about Sam. He wanted to talk about them.

"He's fine, nothing worse than coughing up blood."

"And Meg? Where is she?" Shit. He looked down at his hands.

"Uh Cas... I'm sorry but, Meg is dead."

He didn't look up as the room was filled with the silence of his words sinking in.

"What?"

He braced himself, "Crowley killed her." And all he had done was watch from the safety of his car. Guilt shot pain through his stomach like a vice. Even if he hadn't really cared about her, he knew that Cas did, and he didn't even try to save her.

Castiel stood up abruptly, and Dean finally looked up at him.

"No," his deep, gravelled voice rumbled with denial.

He stood and put a hand on Castiel's shoulder, as if to steady him, "I'm sorry man, I saw it myself."

Castiel's eyes widened, panic painted all over his face. "I'll, I'll have to-"

"Have to what? What can you do?" He tighted his grip on Castiel's shoulder, trying to keep him grounded.

"I'll bring her back," Castiel's face flashed from panicked to determined.

"Come on Cas, you know you can't do that." He must be losing his marbles.

"Yes I can, I'll go back to purgatory and I'll-" Yep, definitely lost them.

He grabbed Castiel's other shoulder and swung him around so that they were facing eachother, "Cas we barely even made it out the first time! Are you crazy?"

"You don't understand. I have to," Castiel protested.

"You're right, I don't understand." Not one bit. Before, Meg had disgusted him in the beginning. "Why do you wanna risk so much for some demon b-"

"Don't." Castiel interupted angrily. Dean stopped, caught completely off guard. He couldn't think of anything to say. He wasn't used to a Castiel who had strong feelings for someone like this. At least, not towards anyone but him. He didn't like it.

"Is it that hard for you to believe that I care deeply for someone other than you?" Castiel's voice was quiet, but rumbled like the thunder of a far away storm.

Deeply? Was Castiel saying that he _liked_ Meg? Of course not. Meg was a demon and Castiel was an angel. Surely he couldn't.

"Cas, you gotta be kidding me." Please let him be kidding.

"I'm not Dean." Okay. He was serious. Dean needed to take a new approach.

"Okay, I get it. You guys spent some time together and now you're a bit sweet on her but it's not worth it!" He could feel something inside him starting to cry out.  
_Please Cas, don't leave me. I need you. Don't leave._

"No Dean, it's more than that."

Dean felt as if he had been punched in the gut. "Are you telling me you're in love with her?" Castiel didn't answer, he just stared. Dean slowly let go of him and turned around, trailing a hand down his face. It felt like the ground had disappeared beneath him, the falling sensation wracking through his body. He sat down on the edge of his bed and looked up at Castiel. This was just his luck, he finally got the fucking balls to overcome his damn masculinity complex to admit to himself that he was hopelessly in love with this trenchcoat wrapped baby, and it turned out that the feeling was completely one sided. It was so... typical. But if there was something he had learned in all these years, it was that when you loved someone, you put your problems and feelings aside and you help them out, because you're not worth a damn anyways.

"Cas, let's talk about this. What makes you think you're in love with her?" He patted a spot next to him on the bed. Castiel sat down hesitantly.

"It's not necessarily that," he said slowly, "She's just the only person I've ever met and shared a mutual sort of interest with..."

Oh God. Did he know how Dean felt? All this time? Had he been aware, even when Dean wasn't? He tried to play dumb,

"What? You've had a bunch of girls crushin' on you that you never told me about?"

"No, it's not that," Castiel looked down, "It's kind of the opposite."

Relief was quickly followed by more panic. There was someone else who had earned Castiel's affection. Someone that wasn't Dean. It was already hard enough to deal with the thought of losing to one person, but the idea that _two_ people had been chosen over him hurt him in ways he didn't expect. He wasn't used to this, losing. He wasn't stupid, he knew perfectly well that he was good looking. He'd never had trouble getting the girl. It was usually keeping the girl that got him, but that was the life of a hunter. There wasn't room for an apple pie life, as bad as he wanted it.

"You like somebody then?"

Castiel nodded, still refusing to look up at Dean. Who on Earth could it be? There weren't many people around for him to choose from. Then again, he never really knew where Castiel went when he disappeared.

"Well, did you tell them? Maybe they just don't seem interested because they don't know that you're into them."

"I'm not their type," Castiel muttered. What on earth could that mean? Since when did Castiel have a grasp on the idea of "types?" He did like a demon after all.

"Well who is it?" Dean found that he was dying to know. He needed to know who had managed to snag Castiel's heart, when he couldn't. Castiel just kept looking down silently. "Come on Cas, you can tell me." _I won't kill them I swear... probably._

"Why did you only decorate half of your room?" Castiel said suddenly.

Dean spluttered for a moment, completely thrown by the inquiry."I uh-" The answer didn't matter though, the original purpose had lost all point now that it was certain that Castiel would not be moving in with him. Ouch. "Damnit Cas don't change the subject."

Castiel stood, turning away from him. "I think that if you haven't figured it out already then it may be best to keep it that way." So it _was_ someone he knew then? Who on earth could it possibly be? It couldn't be Sam. He wracked his brain, but came up completely blank.

"How am I supposed to figure it out if you've never even given me any sort of clue that you even liked someone?" Castiel was always so distant with everyone, and he certainly wasn't the most expressive person either.

"I've been told that my body language could be taken as more than platonic."

Dean started to protest without thinking, "Well I've never seen you get up close and personal with anyone but-" then something clicked in his brain. Castiel had always had a problem with the idea of personal space. But, now that Dean thought about it, it seemed that the only person who he had developed the habit for was... him. _I'm not their type. _Dean had made it very clear in the past that he was strictly heterosexual. He could see Castiel's fists clenching tightly, his body expanding as he drew in a deep breath.

"Cas?" Something seemed to swell from Castiel. It was as if Dean could feel his wings unfolding and preparing themselves for flight. _God no, don't leave._ Dean lurched forward and placed a hand on Castiel's shoulder, trying to convey as loudly as he could with that one touch, _stay._

Castiel turned to face him, looking defenseless and hurt. All this time, he had been hurting Cas by not coming out and just saying that he loved him. All this time, Castiel thought that _he _was the one who held one-sided affections. He was such an idiot.

"Cas I-"

"Do not apologize," Castiel interupted, "I would never expect you to return-"

"Cas stop." Dean said firmly, "I uh..." _Come on man, spit it out!_ "I didn't decorate half of the room... because I was leaving it for you."

"Now you're changing the subject," Castiel muttered. God he really was clueless.

"No, I'm not. I'm just not good at this. Chick flick moments, you know?" He smiled half-heartedly.

"No, I don't know why you keep expecting me to get all of these references." Castiel seemed to be losing his self control, his lower lip starting to tremble. It would heart breakingly adorable if it weren't for the frustration Dean was feeling.

"Damnit Cas! I'm saying I left space for you in my room! Surely you get what that means." How idiotic could this angel get?

"Seeing as I don't sleep I don't really know why that would-"

"Christ Cas." Something snapped inside Dean. Losing all patience with his lack of eloquence and the angels utter obliviousness, he decided to communicate the way he knew best.

He dug his fingers into the angels trench coat and pulled forcefully, cutting off any sort of protests with his lips against Castiel's. He could feel the angel's surprise beneath him. But that didn't matter now, a new rabid hunger that he didn't even know he had possessed for the angel was clawing up in his stomach. He worked Castiel's now pliant mouth open and latched onto his lower lip. Castiel started to go from compliant and unresponsive to more excited. His lips began to move in time with Dean's, and his hands slid up to his chest, fingers tangling into his shirt.

"Dean," he said weakly against Dean's lips.

Letting Castiel talk, but not wanting to take his lips off of him, he trailed them down to his neck. "Yeah Cas?"

"I uh," the angel was breathing heavily, "I thought you didn't-"

"Is talking about this really necessary?" He didn't know how well he would do with the discussion part of his confession.

"Yes," Castiel nearly squeaked. Dean sighed, summoning a great amount of will power to extract his mouth from the angels skin and look him in the eye.

"Fine, I didn't think I did either. But apparently I was wrong. Or maybe... maybe it's just you," he looked down at the ground, feeling the heat rising in his ears. All of these years, he had been so sure of his sexuality. He was Dean Winchester. He banged chicks and didn't look back. Then Castiel came around and flipped his world upside down.

"Dean." Castiel cupped his hand under Dean's chin and lifted his face back up. Dean's tongue flicked out over his lips, a nervous habit. "You're my exception too."

Dean felt his cheeks warm as suddenly his world was set right-side up again. He felt a smile creeping up onto his face, just before Castiel pulled him down to his lips again. Dean was more than willing to follow. Castiel had a completely unique taste, something that no description could possibly be pinned to except that it was _Cas._ It was almost as if he was being saved again. For the first time in a long time, Dean almost felt whole again. For the first time ever, Dean felt at home. In this moment, he didn't regret going to hell, because in the end, it had led him here. To Cas.

_Cas._


End file.
